Same-old same-old

Thursday, June 19th, 2003

I walked into the office on Monday and people said 'gosh, you look relaxed'. It's only Thursday and already I look completely wrecked and am desperate for sleep. Four days to undo the good done by a fortnight off work. Something has to change here.

Tiredness does so many bad things to me. It makes me cross, irritable (and irritating), insular – I get totally wrapped up in myself – rude, and clumsy. It kills my concentration and it pretty much stops me writing. I'm best when I'm getting 10 hours of sleep but can function on eight. Yet I rarely get more than six and it's often as little as four.

And yet having an early night (anything before midnight) means that I get no evening. By the time I get home, unwind from the journey and eat it's maybe 10pm. If I want any sort of relaxation or if I want to get any sort of work done for myself I have to stay up. I've tried working before I leave in the morning but it only makes me late.

I don't have an answer to this.

Can't write any more now – haven't got the energy.

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I'm Andy Darley. Sometimes I want to say things. This is where I do it.