Beyond a joke

I don't believe in conspiracy theories.

I don't think the FBI murdered Kennedy, or that aliens kidnap cows, or that TV newsreaders can look out of their screens and see us.

So I am totally calm about the fact that when I just went into the kitchen to make cheese on toast, and finally exorcise the demons of this working week, we had no cheese left.

Nor do I think there is any significance to the way in which I burned myself on the grill when extracting the bread that would no longer be needed following this discovery.

Or to the fact that I can't currently find my shoes.