Wiggle it, just a little bit


I saw a physiotherapist last night about my foot, which has been hurting recently. She was recommended by a chap with an allotment near ours and she bases herself out of a rowing club nearby on the Thames. So when I got there the place was crawling with fit-looking healthy muscled people (men, women and children alike) with boats on their shoulders and wet backsides.

She gave me a programme of exercises to do hourly and told me to make an effort to walk properly: I've been letting my right foot trail out wide in order to minimise the pain while walking fast. And my feet naturally splay outwards anyway, so this was not good.

The exercises mostly involve new and inventive ways to wiggle my foot, but I also need to stand balanced on one foot for a while, hourly. So if you see someone on the Tube standing solemnly on one foot, looking daggers at anyone who stares at them, come up and say 'hello' because it'll be me doing my hourly exercises.

Reminds me horribly of my ex-fiancee's brother Eddie. The first time I met him he was standing on one foot, staring at a lightbulb. He stood there without moving for 40 minutes, then said “hmmm” in a thoughtful manner and went away. Bless him – I wonder what he's doing now?