I got another of my favourite type of spam – the African money-laundering scam. It was the first since, which is a shame as I enjoy them so much.
Here it is:
Subject: treat as urgent and confidential
From : Mrs. Muna Zulu Iyama, refugee Camp, South Africa
Complements of the season.
I am delighted to contact you after coming across your contact in the internet business pagehance i have no doubt in your ability to handle a transaction of this dimension which requires maximum confidentiality to complete with a strong believe that you are not going to let me down.
I wish to introduce myself as Mrs. Muna Zulu Iyama, wife of the Late General Zulu Iyama who was murdered in the heat of the tribal war in my country (Somalia). May his soul rest in perfect peace.Amen.
Untill his death, my husband was in charge Armunition Importation department of the Fara Idid led rebel group.
It was in the event of our parking out of the military qautars that i found in my late husband's room a vault contain money valued at Twenty Two Million United States Dollars(us$22,000,000.00) which i immediately shifted out of my country to a private security company in South Africa as family belongings for safe keeping.
Today, I am in the refugee camp here in South Africa while my Vault(money) is stocked in the security company hence i seek your consent in clearing this consignment on my behalf since my movement is restricted within the Camp and this has to be done in the foloowing directions;
1. standing on my bahlf in clearing the vault base on the documents i will make available to you
2. helping me in banking the fund in your name and country or where ever you may consider comfortable and possibly move it into investment.
3. securring travelling documents for me so that i will come out of the camp to meet you where ever we can as soon as the fund have settled in an account.
Also, i have decided to compensate your much needed assistance with 25% of the total sum while 5% will be to take care of all your expenses in the course of this transaction.
When i hear from you, i will be in a very good position to let you into a clearer picture of this transaction expecting you to keep this transaction confidential.
Mrs. Muna Zulu Iyama
NOTE: BASE ON THE AGREEMENT BETWEEN ME AND THE SECURITY COMPANY, THE CONSIGNMENT CAN BE SHIFTED TO ANY OTHER COUNTRY OF OUR CHOICE WHERE SOUTH AFRICA IS NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOU.
So I replied to it as follows:
May I offer my sincerest condolences for your sad loss.
May I suggest you use the money to buy yourself a small house and possibly also a pet? I am told cats are quite nice.
Don't suppose it was the reply they were after but not everyone can get what they want in life all the time, can they?